Shiela's Story: FINAL CHAPTER
Updated: Mar 26
Leah ala una na noon, gising pa rin ako but I knew, I was still alone at home at wala pa si Christian. Halos hindi ako nakatulog noon Leah at nang sumikat na ang araw, bumaba ako only to see Christian, sleeping on the couch sa living room. Tinitigan ko siya at somewhat nakita ko ang mukha ni Eric, ang first love ko na siyang nagbigay sa akin ng caution na sasaktan lang ako ng mga lalaki. Hindi na ako natuto.
Staring at him made my tears flow for the nth time ngunit nang gumalaw na siya, mabilis kong pinahid ang mga luha ko. Demeretso ako sa kitchen para magtimpla ng kape ko. I don’t feel like eating that morning. Nakatalikod ako nang marinig ko ang mga yapak ni Christian papunta sa kinaroroonan ko.
Just like our usual mornings, he approached me and hugged me from behind. I feel like breaking down at that very moment and it took me so much strength not to. I cleared my throat and told him that my co-workers and I will be going to an outing. He made it easy for me dahil pumayag siya kaagad.
That morning, he insisted na ihatid ako sa meeting place namin pero I declined the offer. He hugged me but I didn’t hug him back. I didn’t know if he sense but if he did, he didn’t show. He planted a kiss on the crown of my head and it made me close my eyes. I knew then that it will be the last time he’ll get that close to me.
The moment he pulled away from me, I stared at him and flashed him a sad smile. And then I leaned forward and planted a kiss on his lips as a good bye.
When I finally turned my back on him to get inside the taxi, I felt my heart twisting and breaking into tiny pieces. It hurts…it hurts so much. Walking away from the person you love could be the cause of your death, however, staying could kill you too. Either way, you’ll still end up dying inside. And I chose the former because it was the option I didn’t choose before, to walk away.
I had no idea where to go para akong isang bata na naligaw na hindi alam ang pupuntahan. I know I could always go to my friends but what? To end up going back home ‘pag nalaman ni Christian? I was left with the option na noon ko pa sana ginawa.
Umuwi ako Leah …… Umuwi ako sa magulang na hindi ko alam kung maaalala pa ako o ipagtatabuyan na ng tuluyan.
It was 4 o’clock in the morning when I was already standing in front of our house na walang pinagbago. Umiiyak na ako noon dahil sobrang bigat at sobrang sakit na pala ng nararamdaman ko. Nanginginig ako noon na kumatok at nang bumukas ang pintuan, tuluyan akong nanghina nang makita ko ang bagong gising na si papa.
I didn’t move, I only sobbed so hard. My father opened his mouth only to close it again. Hindi ko alam kung saan ako humugot ng lakas ng loob ngunit the word sorry came out from my mouth so naturally.
Hindi nagsalita si papa but he took me in his arms at doon ko binuhos lahat ng sakit na nararamdaman ko. I kept on saying sorry only to be stop by the sight of my startled mother. Umiyak din si mama as she approached me.
It was a morning full of tears and unleashed pain Leah but crying on my parents lifted half of the pain I’ve been carrying. I told them everything which made them cry and drop the words I never thought they’d be telling me………. I’m Sorry.
That’s all I needed Leah. Forgiveness. Forgiveness on both sides.
I made the right choice of going back home Leah because my parents gave me the comfort I badly needed. Halos hindi na sila mahiwalay sa akin lalong lalo na si mama na siyang yumayakap sa akin sa tuwing naiiyak na naman ako.
I’m the lost daughter who came back and I was so blessed to find out that my parents have been still monitoring me through other people. Wala pala talagang magulang na itatakwil at kakalimutan ng tuluyan ang kanilang mga anak.
I was ready to start all over again Leah when after two weeks, a very familiar car welcomed me. Mabilis na ang kabog ng puso ko noon Leah at halos hindi ko magawang humakbang papasok ng bahay to find out kung siya nga ba talaga ang nagmamay-ari sa sasakyan.
Bago pa man ako makapag-isip kung ano ang dapat gawin, nakita na ako ng bunso kong kapatid na kalalabas lang ng bahay. Hinila niya ako at nang makapasok ako sa bahay, tama nga ang hinala ko.
Christian is sitting sa living room with my parents. I don’t remember mentioning him our home address kaya hindi ko lubos naisip na masusundan niya ako.
Iniwan kami nila mama at papa. I sat next to him, hindi pa man ako nakakapagsalita nang hinawakan na ni Christian ang mga kamay ko, the same gesture he did 8 years ago when he first told me he loves me.
Hindi ako makatingin sakanya but I was forced to look at him when I felt tears at the back of my hand. He’s crying.
He waited for me to come back Leah but when I didn’t, doon na raw niya kinulit ang mga kaibigan ko. That’s why he was able to track where I am.
The moment I saw him kissing another woman, I told myself I would never give second chances anymore. Pagod na akong masaktan Leah. I told him if he’ll be happier with Via, I’d be much willing to let him go even it will be enough to kill me.
I was ready for an annulment Leah pero instead na annulment……church wedding ang dumating.
Opo Leah, the love we have for each other conquered all the pain we were feeling. He admitted about the kiss and that they’ve been spending time together before it happened. However, the morning when I told him about the outing, he knew then he’s about to lose me. He was too guilty enough to let me stay with him that’s why he’d let me go. He’d convinced himself na babalik ako pero noong hindi na, doon na siya sobrang natakot.
He told me what he had realized Leah. Oo, natempt daw siya sa ex niya pero according to him he’ll never regret that Via came back in his life because if it weren’t for her, he’ll never get to realized how much he loves his wife.
So that was it Leah. I know tears, pain, and heart breaks are inevitable sa isang relasyon. Hindi ito maiiwasan kahit na ano pang gawin mong ingat o iwas. But you know what I had realized? Giving second, third, or many chances isn’t that bad for as long as it is worth it. And for me? It’s worth the pain.
Hanggang dito na lang po Leah.
Lubos na gumagalang,