Madison's Story: CHAPTER THREE
Leah, grumadweyt ako ng college na still single. Well, I didn’t mind, actually. Hindi ko naramdaman na may kulang o ano, taliwas sa iniisip ng iba. Ang akala kasi ng iba, you need to have a romantic companion in life and that as early as possible, you should start hunting for this person.
In my defense, sanay kasi ako na ako lang, yes, I am used to being independent. Maybe this is one of the factors contributing why it’s really hard for someone to enter my life. It’s not that my doors are closed or something, I am single not because I am too mapili … I am single because, wala eh, sa mga nag-attempt manligaw hindi ko nakita o naramdaman ‘yung spark at ‘yung connection.
And so far, those men whom I found could have beento be a potential – when I say potential kasi Leah, sila ‘yung hindi man lang ako nakaramdam ng pagka-ilang sa kanila, kumbaga may chance to be my boyfriend. Kaya lang kasi Leah, sila pa ‘yung hindi nanligaw.
Kaya naman kahit grumadweyt na ako nun sa college and all, ni hindi ako nagka-boyfriend.
I am in no rush honestly bagkus, I took my singleness as an opportunity to grow in my career. Kaya naman after I am out from the university, here comes another journey which is the reality kaya naman you have to work really harder.
That is why habang wala pa ‘yung tao who could sweep me off my feet, I burned my energy and focused my time to growing not just as an independent and a career minded woman but also as a person.
While working, meron ‘yung mga nag-express ng interest nila pero gaya ng dati, so far hindi ko pa rin nakikita o nararamdam ‘yung something that would make me allot time for him. Ito Leah, if there is something I learned at mas lalong nagpa-realize sa akin after university, that is ang bilis ng oras at ang ikli dahil ang andaming dapat gawin. ‘Yung kung pwede lang ‘wag ka na lang matulog.
You cannot do anything about this other than to adjust. Kaya naman if there you decide to spend your time on something or on someone, at least make sure it is worth it kasi nga napakaraming bagay na dapat paglaanan ng oras.
Probably because of my mind set, unti unti na nababahala ‘yung mga taong nakapaligid sa akin including my parents. They even started teasing me that I will grow old alone. Well, at first, naaasar ako sa tuwing sinasabi ito sa akin.
But then I watched this legal drama where the leading character who practically married her career and she didn’t let anyone get into her way into reaching the top of her career ladder. She’s an empowered woman but then at 50s, where having children is already impossible, she met this person who is quite her opposite – like he doesn’t wear expensive clothes like her and he is a republican while she is a democrat – but in spite of this, he is her equal and he balances her.
They got married and they are happy. They are fictional characters but they are written to co-exist with the current world, kasi kung ano rin ‘yung current na nangyayari, ‘yun ‘yung mundong ginagalawan nila. Yes Leah, I am really captivated by this show and it made me realize more about perfect timing.
There is a perfect timing for everything, regardless of age kung ‘yun ‘yung timing na nakalaan para sa inyo to meet, doon sa panahong iyon mangyayari.
And so even people startedare starting to tell me I am going to grow old alone if I don’t start looking for a boyfriend now, I didn’t mind because as I’ve said, there is a perfect timing for everything.
So Leah, I focused my energy in doing and mastering my craft and in between, men caome and wentgo. The truth is, it’s not that hard for them to disappear, though there is this person who has been so consistent… si Troy.
Si Troy Leah, talagang alam na alam ‘yung ugali ko because he has seen me stressed all the time. Lagi lagi pa rin siyang nagme-message and Leah, he had faced my parents many times, at nung una nga na na-meet niya ‘yung mama ko ay na-hot seat kaagad siya.
She’s been so consistent, Leah and even after knowing that there was this another man ay hindi pa rin siya natinag.
Itong other man kasing ito, kakilala ko rin nung college and he was ahead of us. He is in the service and all of a sudden kasi, nag-chat siya sa akin. Honestly, I initially thought he was a rebel nung sinabi niyang nasa mountains siya and then nag-send pa ng photo na naka-uniform. I know I’m kinda stupid on this part, but it’s not that I know this kind of stuff and it is better safe than sorry, diba?
So this another man, umamin nga na lagi niya akong nakikita nun nung college but he thought I was so masungit kaya hindi niya ako nilapitan, though just weeks before their graduation nun, he asked me for a dance at a certain event … at ‘tong moment na ito tandang tanda niya and he even recalled that we went to the same school in high school at nakikita niya rin daw ako noon.
Surprisingly, this uniformed man, I allowed myself to entertain him and we talked over the phone regularly. There are times na kahit hating gabi na, he would call and kahit pa man half asleep ako, I wouldn’t mind… and just like that, we’d talk for like 2 hours about anything while the world is sleeps.
This uniformed man, singer din siya Leah, and so kapag tumatawag siya at kapag nagvi-video call kami, he would take his guitar and sing songs…yes, songs for me. Sometimes, his comrades also join and they just sing.
They are great singers Leah, and their voices were more like that of a country singer, kaya kahit noon na may moment na talagang gusto ko ng ituloy ‘yung ginagawa ko and I was dying for them to already stop and we get back to our own business, I still chose to just wait ‘til they finish their production number.
Ang jamming din kasi talaga nila Leah nun is ‘yung pagkanta and at some point, na-punish pa sila dahil dito, kasi nga bawal.
Anyway, we continued talking and at some point, he even pranked me na uuwi siya at sakto pa nun kasi birthdate ko pa ‘yung araw na sana ay nandito siya. Pero ang galing niya lang ding mag-prank kasi naniwala ako.
Ganun lang, basta we talked and talked pero in spite of this, hindi pa rin ako pumayag sa kahilingan niyang manligaw kasi I’m not just convinced yet because we never really talked in person yet.
And you know what Leah? Thank goodness I didn’t fall in the trap and didn’t let my guards down.
This uniformed man is A for effort.
Though, I had to keep my guards up kasi a part of me says na it’s not smart to just go with the flow knowing that he is far away and who knows what he’s doing. Siguro maiinis na kayo kasi bakit ko pa ito pakakawalan?
But to tell you, I was beyond thankful that I didn’t let my guards down kasi I just learned from one of my friends that a certain girl posted on social media, greeting him a ‘happy monthsary’. Ako kasi I don’t normally stalk one’s timeline that’s why I was not aware.
After learning this, my girlfriends launched an investigation of their own to locate the girl and boy, they are good at it and I would really recommend them to join the law enforcement to help solve cases. Nahanap nga nila ‘yung babae and we confirmed it through her bio and her comments… kasi ‘yung endearment nila, ‘yun ‘yung nasabi niya one time nung na wrong sent siya sa akin.
I confronted him kindly and advised him that no women deserve to be cheated on. Walang kami pero gusto niyang manligaw, so basically that is still cheating. I also told him that didn’t I give him lots of opportunity to stop talking to me kung meron siyang girlfriend kasi it would be a waste of time … but then sabi niya wala raw.
He denied, of course. Sino rin ba naman kasi ang aamin, diba? So girls out there, it’s really important to keep your guards up even a guy seems already ideal.
Right then, totally na-turn off ako sa kanya. Though he tried reaching out and that it didn’t help his case kasi he kept on denying tapos when I asked him several questions, and for me his answers were like hindi pinag-isipan.
Siguro kung teenagers or hindi marunong mag-disect ng words, kikiligin at maniniwala. Ako kasi hindi ganun, hindi ako ganon at hindi ko rin alam kung bakit.
Reading his answers, I was like don’t quibble with me, I’m into analyzing words and certainly I’m no teenager anymore.
So, basically thatI was a turned off for me at kahit pa man nagcha-chat pa rin yan at tumatawag, hindi ko na ine-entertain gaya ng dati. I would reply to his message once tapos very formal pa.
You know, Leah? I never understood why guys have to do it. I mean, why do they have these guts to enter a woman’s life kahit pa man meron na silang girlfriend. Mas nakakalalaki ba ‘yung marami kang girlfriends? Would it make you less of a man kung mag-stick ka sa current girl mo?
Diba? Bakit? Nananahimik ‘yung babae tapos guguluhin mo for your own interest? Such as selffishless bastards.
And I also cannot grasp the idea na once a girl fell into this trap, parang siya pa yata ‘yung may kasalanan at absuwelto ‘yung lalaki na in the first place, ni hindi makuntento sa isa.
I didn’t have a hard time after that uniformed man, I don’t know, siguro dala na rin nung ugali natin na why waste time for someone who is not there to stay? Kasi I am not here to play. There’s a lot of things to do and time won’t wait for you so you really have to keep up your pace. Though, he still kept messaging pero hindi na gaya ng dati na ine-entertain ko.
So still, I am single.
But then, there was this man from the past whom I suddenly had a communication with again. That time kasi, I was with Kara and I cannot remember exactly kung ano ‘yung chinat niya dun sa tao.
I didn’t expect him to reply, really. Kaya naman nagpatuloy kami ni Kara sa pag-catch up and we talked about how exhausting the world is. However, in the middle of our conversation, biglang nag-notify ‘yung phone niya at umilaw at nang i-unlock nga niya iyon ay biglang nagtitili na ang bruha.
Before I could grab her phone ay siya na mismo ang nagbasa dun sa message, she didn’t read it … she squeled it. Hindi ko alam kung ano nga ba ang nakakakilig nun.
At Leah, kamuntikan ko siyang batukan nang makita ko kung ano ‘yung sinend niya, it was an odd statement kasi bigla niyang niremind sa kanya ‘yung spin the bottle nung high school … yes Leah, it was Apollo and after that night, muli ngang nag-appear si Apollo sa buhay ko.