Jane's Story: FINAL CHAPTER
Enzo invited me to dinner and with all his assurance and a push from my parents and friends, I agreed to go out.
That very night I dressed up, put on some make up, curled my hair, and I wore some killer heels. That was the first time I dressed for Enzo and did I mention pala that my parents have been shipping us together? Yes, they do kaya naman walang paglagyan ang mga ngiti nila when I emerged from my room and joined them sa living area kung saan they were entertaining Enzo who was waiting for me.
Nakakatawa lang talaga kasi that was the first time namagfan girl ang mga parents ko like they were teenagers. Natatawa na lang kami ni Enzo dahil mas excited pa sila kaysa sa amin at sinundan talaga kami ng tingin nang lumabas na kami at sumakay sa sasakyan ni Enzo, rinig na rinig ko pa ang pag click ng camera ni mommy, I was just thankful at naka off ang flash.
Anyway, we drove to a restaurant na kung saan we were welcomed by a very romantic ambiance with all the candles and soft music. It was Enzo who chose the restaurant and that he made us a reservation.
If I were to be honest, that was my first real date,if it’s even a date to begin with. Basta that was the first time a guy did this candle light dinner for me. Idagdag pa ang paghihintay niya sa akin habang kaharap ang parents ko tapos ang mala-gentleman pang pag-open niya ng door ng sasakyan for me.
I never thought Enzo to be this kind of a guy kasi nga wala naman siyang ibang ginawa kundi ang asarin lang ako ng asarin.
That night, apart from the food ay talagang nabusog ako katatawa dahil sa mga kwento niya and also the way he drop every hilarious line. Hindi ko na maalala kung kailan ako tumawa ng ganito kalala or was it safe to say na kay Enzo lang naman talaga ako napapahagalpak ng bongga.
Buti na lang at sa bandang gilid ang pina-reserve ni Enzo para hindi kami magcause ng distraction sa mga couple na naroon.
So we ate, we talked, and we laughed out loud. Just like that. Two friends who have this impact to each other na kahit anong i-kwento ng isa’t isa ay talagang hahagalpak sila sa tawa. Yes Leah, that was Enzo and I.
Napasarap nga kami sa kwentuhan dahil na rin sa tagal naming hindi nag-usap kaya naman mga 10:30 na nang lumabas kami ng restaurant. Enzo asked me to wait na lang sa door ng restaurant then he went out to get the car from the parking lot.
So I just stood there not until from the corner of my eyes I saw two familiar figures. Just when I turned to look, my already broken heart has been shattered into tiny pieces. Natuod ako sa kinatatayuan ko na para bang I was under a spell at hindi na ako makagalaw.
Hindi ko na napansin at narinig si Enzo na nasa harapan ko na pala dahil he had to go down from his car and approach me to get my attention.When I finally looked at him, kitang kita ko ‘yung pagkagulat sa mata niya nang makita niya akong umiiyak.
It didn’t take him long to realize what brought me to this state dahil nakita niya rin ang nakita ko. Just before we could live or whatsoever, the 2 familiar figures saw us and the girl was shocked when she met my gaze while the guy without any trace of remorse, smirked.
The guy was so annoyingly proud and like a thunder, mabilis na tinawid ni Enzo ang distansiya namin sa lalaki and the next thing, nasa ground na ang lalaki at hawak hawak ang dumudugong pisngi.
Hindi pa nadala ang lalaki and he uttered words against me dahilan upang sipain siya ni Enzo. Gabi na nun at wala na masiyadong katao tao, kung meron man ay may kanya kanya silang mundo sa loob ng restaurant.
Noon ko lang nakita na ganon kagalit si Enzo. Nag-aapoy talaga siya sa galit at kung hindi ko pa hinila ay baka mas malala ang nagawa niya… kay Harry.
Yes Leah, the guy was Harry. However, it was not Harry who made me feel even devastated but rather the girl he was with.
I can consider that they may simply hanging out kaya lang, they were making out Leah and certainly, hindi gawain ng magkaibigan o casual na magkakilala lang ang mag-make out lalong lalo na sa isang public place.
I wouldn’t have cared much kung ibang babae, maiintindihan ko pa pero the girl Leah is one of my dearest friends. Not just a friend pero among them, siya ‘yung wala sa listahan na gagawa ng ganito sa kaibigan niya or did she consider me as friend in the first place?
You might be thinking it’s Camille given her carefree attitude. No, she’s not. Si Julia? Certainly no, baliw lang yan pero hindi pa ganon katindi ang pagkaalog ng utak. Yes, you’re right. It’s Gretchen.
Si Gretchen na siyang pinaka conservative at mahinhin sa amin. She’s this woman my ex was making out with. She was wearing her usual clothes that do not show a skin but her action, doesn’t even justify her demure appearance.
Hindi nakalusot sa paningin ko that she was holding a bouquet at paniguradong galing din sila sa restaurant na pinanggalingan namin ni Enzo. Doon ako mas lalong sinampal ng realidad? What was I to Harry for the past 2 and a half years? Never niya akong binigyan ng flower at never niya akong dinala to dine sa isang romantic na restaurant. Sa totoo lang diyan lang kami sa gilid gilid kumakain o sa fast food chain.
Gag**** yun kayang kaya naman pala niyang magpaka-romantic!
Pero what really astounded me was Gretchen. It has only been3 weeks since I officially broke up with Harry and now they were on a date? Leah, I had never felt so betrayed in my life not until that night.
Namimilipit sa sakit noon si Harry habang si Gretchen ay nakaluhod at hindi alam kung paano siya i-a-assist.
Galit na galit si Enzo and I was holding his hand to prevent him from causing too much harm kay Harry kahit pa man deserve na deserve niya in the first place. Enzo looked at me and his features soften kasabay ng pag-intertwine niya sa mga daliri namin.
He sees no reason to stay and stand there kaya naman ay siya na ang humila sa akin paalis. We drove home and it was only when his car parked in front of our house that I finally let everything catch up to me.
I broke down into a deep sob and Enzo immediately wrapped me in his arms. Sa totoo lang, wala akong maramdaman nun towards kay Harry other than pure hatred and resentment. Doon ko lubos lubos na-realize na sobra sobra akong nagpakatanga. Hiyang hiya ako sa sarili ko at pinaglaanan ko ng dalawang taon ang hudas na to.
But on the other hand, I felt extremely sad over the fact that one of my best friends did this to me. I trusted Gretchen since we were younger and I cannot remember doing anything to her for me to deserve this kind of betrayal.
With all these happening, I felt so unworthy na para bang wala akong nagawang tama at maganda sa buong buhay ko. Pakiramdam ko wala akong kakwenta kwenta dahilan upang hindi ako pinahalagahan ng dalawang taong minahal ko lang naman at pinagkatiwalaan.
I just cried and cried and Enzo held me and allowed me to express all the pain that was going on inside me.
Camille and Julia were surprised when they found out what happened. I didn’t tell them, it was Gretchen who spilled the tea. Tumawag daw ito at nagso-sorry sa kanila.
Gretchen also called me and I answered and listened to her explanation. Masakit pero at least she chose to be honest with her true feelings.
Ang sabi niya matagal na raw siyang nilalandi ni Harry kahit nung kami pa pero hindi niya raw pinapansin hanggang sa naglevel up sa pangungulit si Harry at todo effort, she developed feelings. Kaya lang daw ay dahil nga sa kami pa ay pinigilan nga niya.
Hanggang sa ito na nga, wala na kami. She said she’s not proud of her actions but just like me, she’s capable of falling in love too. Paulit ulit siyang humingi ng tawad pero I told her I need time to digest everything and she respected that Leah.
However, kahit ganun ang nangyari, I still precautioned Gretchen as to who Harry is and it’s up to her on whether or not she will listen. Pero kung sila talaga, sila who knows they might be a match.
Anyway, I have a heart to heal and a life to mend. It’s time to put myself first kasi sino ang unang magmamahal ng todo sa’yokung hindi ang sarili mo, di ba? Kaya naman this time, I have to love myself.
From that night, after crying so hard into Enzo’s arms, I decided it’s time to redeem myself since I won’t get anything from wallowing too much.
And so, I returned to work at mas pinag-igihan pa. I also enrolled for my master’s degree. Leah, I used the pain as a leverage to be better.
Alam kong pinag-uusapan pa rin ako pero finally Leah, I learned na wala kang mapapala kapag hinayaan mo silang diktahan ka. I just let them talk at nagagawa ko na rin silang ngitian sa tuwing nakikita ko sila kapag lumalabas ako ng bahay.
I learned not to care the hard way, but I am just so glad I finally got to ignore what the society is saying about me. All I cared about is being better in my work and also being a better daughter to my parents.
Dahil nga sa ang daming oras ang nasayang ay bumawi ako kila mommy at daddy. We go out on to eat and watch movies. We go out for a long drive and vacation. I designated my time and energy for my parents habang meron pa akong time to do it for them because who knows what will happen next especially that they are not getting any younger.
I also hang out with Camille and Julia na halos manirahan na sa bahay. Si Gretchen naman ayun, sila na ni Harry at balita ko ay maganda naman daw ang trato ni Harry sa kanya. Well sana nga at nagbago na siya.
As to my heart? It is definitely healing and on its way to full recovery.
I was basically enjoying life with my parents and friends and of course with my super mapang-asar na kababata. Oo, kahit pa man malayo ay regular kaming nag-uusap ni Enzo at kapag nagbabakasyon siya ay kung saan saan kami pumupunta and he would always take me out to dinner.
Sobrang gaan ng pakiramdam ko kay Enzo and I could say that I cared about him so much and I am very much thankful at hindi naman niya ako prine-pressure because gaya nga ng sabi niya, you cannot recover from a very bad and painful relationship overnight.
Pero to tell you Leah, Enzo makes me happy and that my parents and friends love him so much. Sino ba naman kasi ang hindi, given na napakacaring niya,mabait,at talagang mapapatawa ka niya and he has this ability to make your day.
He’s giving me all the time I need, and I couldn’t be more grateful to him. Leah, they say after the storm there is a rainbow, and right now I can say I am getting there.
Before I end this, I would like to tell the people out there na really, we do not learn everything from books but rather, we learn the best from experience. Kaya naman do not be too hard on yourself just because you chose to do something that eventually ended up hurting you. What matters is that you learned from it and that you use the pain to become better.
Academically incline or not, we get a share sa sinasabi nilang ‘nagiging tanga tayo sa pag-ibig’. Ang pagiging tanga sa pag-ibig walang pinipili yan, sadyang mas napapansin lang talaga ng lipunan ‘yung pagiging tanga ng mga achievers kasi nga they are expected to do great in all aspects.
Kaya if you experienced or experiencing the same situation as mine, cheer up and look forward.
Anyway, thank you very much Leah for reading my lengthy letter. ‘Til here.