• Leah's Real Life Stories

Elizabeth's Story: CHAPTER FOUR


Leah, by now you already knew how innocent I was. Remember when I thought I was going to get pregnant after Castro kissed me? Yes, I was so innocent Leah that before our wedding day, I asked a couple how they ‘do it’ at halos masamid na sila at tumawa lang nang tumawa.


So at 17, I got married to a man whom I barely knew and who created a very bad impression to me.


I was innocently young, I was naïve, and most of all, I literally don’t know anything especially the gawaing bahay. Hindi ako marunong magluto, maglaba, mamalantsa at kung ano ano pa… basta ang bottom line wala akong alam.


But then Leah, ni hindi nagalit si Castro o kahit man lang pinilit ako kasi siya mismo ang gumawa ng mga ito for me. I was a princess sa bahay and he was so patient with me.


Sa totoo lang hindi ko maintindihan nun Leah kung bakit parang ang bait bait naman niya yata, bakit napaka-maginoo niya eh samantalang pinasok niya lang ako sa kwarto ko nun while I was sleeping and without my consent.


Parang ibang tao ‘yun pinakasalan ko at kasama ko sa bahay Leah dahil napakalayo niya sa inimagine kong ugali ni Castro.


Leah, wala rin siyang bisyo, ni hindi siya umiinom ng alak. Alam mo ‘yung bahay, trabaho lang siya? ‘Yung literal na ako ang buhay niya at pinanindigan niya ang pangako niya sa mga magulang ko na hindi niya ako pababayaan.


And little by little Leah, siya na ‘yung hinahanap hanap ko araw araw.

Makalipas nga ang isang taon Leah, I was 18, ipinagbuntis ko ang unang anak namin ni Castro at kung iniisip niyong mahirap ang magbuntis, try to think again kasi hindi lang siya basta mahirap… sobrang hirap.


On my part kasi, sobra akong sensitive magmula nung naglilihi ako at hindi ako makakain. ‘Yun bang just the smell of food, I would throw up… at sa mga moment na ganito, nandiyan si Castro to rub my back and hold my hair for me as I empty my stomach.


Siguro Leah narinig mo na ‘yung sinasabi nila na matututunan mo rin pa lang mahalin ang isang tao, that was exactly what happened to me.


Yes, sa relationship namin, on my part, I hated him so much noong una dahil nga sa ginawa niya sa akin. But then, when we were already in one roof and with his kindness, sweet gestures, his patience, and his love for me, eventually natutunan ko siyang mahalin din Leah.


Alam mo nung naglilihi ako, while I was enduring all those morning sickness and all that had me drained all day, I get relieved whenever I see him. It just feels great to be with someone who is so caring and he never failed to show that we’re in this pregnancy together.


Noon Leah, tandang tanda ko pa, I would always wait for him to come home, ‘yun bang lagi akong nakabantay sa door at tsaka sisilip sa labas every now and then to see kung meron na ba siya.


And what’s funny is that kapag nandiyan na siya, mabilis akong tatakbo at magtatago kahit pa man nakita na niya ako sa gate pa lang. Kapag papasok na siya sa bahay, matatawa siyang hahanapin ako at ako mahihiya sa pinaggagagawa ko.


Ganoon Leah, hinahanap hanap ko na siya dahil sa totoo lang kasi, hindi mahirap mahalin si Castro. Oo, noon, natutunan ko na siyang mahalin.


Nung nagbuntis nga ako, literal na hindi ako makakain kahit pa man natapos ako sa paglilihi phase. Hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit makaamoy lang ako ng pagkain, I would vomit already. I just couldn’t keep food in my stomach long before ko sila ilabas.


Noon sinubukan ni Castro halos lahat ng pagkain to see kung merong food na kaya kong i-take, pero kahit na ‘yung masasarap ay hindi pa rin pwede.


Dahil dito, I relied on food supplements and others na prinescribe ng doctor. Noon halos nakahiga lang ako at talagang nangayayat. That nine months had been so hard for me… hanggang sa ipinanganak ko na ang anak namin ni Castro.


It took me hours of laboring and I thought I could not be able to do it. Halos mawalan ako ng lakas nun while enduring the pain at hindi ko rin maintindihan kung bakit kailangan gano’n kasakit ang pag-labor most especially at hindi pa ‘yon ‘yung mismong moment kung saan lalabas na nga ‘yung sanggol.


Bumaha talaga ng luha nun sa hospital at damang dama ko na hindi rin alam ni Castro kung ano ang gagawin dahil maging siya ay parang nafi-feel ‘yung sakit na nararamdaman ko sa bawat iyak at pag-grip ko sa kamay niya.


My parents were there too but Castro didn’t leave my side at inendure lahat ng mura ko at pagdapo ng kamay ko sa katawan niya dahil sa matinding sakit… dahil Leah, once you’re in labor and in the middle of excruciating pain, lahat ng mura masasabi mo to describe the pain your feeling. Tapos, yung sasabihin mong last na ‘yon at hindi ka na magbubuntis pang muli.


Hanggang sa, lumabas na nga ang anak namin ni Castro and it sounds cliché, but all the pain instantly vanished when I heard my son’s first cry.


Walang paglagyan nun ang saya at tuwa namin ni Castro with our first born. Gano’n kasi talaga Leah, just the moment you held your child, it feels like the world stops at maiiyak ka na lang kasi you’re holding this beautiful creature na sa’yo mismo nanggaling.

Mapapatanong ka how is it possible for you to give birth to someone so precious and so beautiful? All your life you spent it thinking about yourself pero the moment na mahawakan mo ‘yung taong nanggaling sa’yo, lahat ng attention and energy mo sa kanya na mapupunta na sa lahat ng gagawin mo, siya ‘yung unang ico-consider mo.


Tapos you would always constantly think of them na kahit natutulog ka na mapapanaginipan mo pa sila. When you eat, you would think kung nabusog pa sila sa food o ano. Tapos when you get up in the morning, sila kaagad ‘yung hahanapin ng sistema mo.


Gano’n Leah, when you become a mother, you become selfless. At lahat ng kaya mong ibigay para sa mga anak mo, ibibigay mo. At lahat din, gagawin mo para lang sa kanila.


To non-mothers, they would understand that feeling of wanting to make sure your kid eat and sleep well, to make sure they are happy, to make sure they are safe, and to make sure that they are going to have a bright future ahead of them.


Gano’n ang pakiramdam ng maging isang ina Leah, as I’ve said, you become selfless.

Dahil nga sa first time ko at bata pa, nakaalalay nun ang mama ko sa akin at lalong lalo na si Castro na mas lalong hindi nga ako iniwan. Dahil nga sa nagta-trabaho, kumuha ng katulong ang asawa ko para may kasama rin kami sa bahay.


Yes I was so elated, so excited, at para akong nasa cloud nine every time nakikita ko ‘yung anak ko. However, it didn’t spare me from committing mistakes at noon ko na-realize how naïve and how stupid I was.


At 18, wala talaga akong idea how am I supposed to take care of my child. Hindi ko alam ang ginagawa ko nun and thankfully, my mother was always there to guide me. She was the one who taught me how to put diapers, how to make milk and all. Oo lahat kinailangang ituro sa akin kasi nga wala talaga akong alam.


But you know Leah, kahit nandiyan si mama at ‘yung katulong, hindi ko pa rin kayang alagaan at bantayan ng maayos ‘yung anak ko. Kasi one time, nasa sala kami nun, kahit nandon ako mismo sa tabi ng anak ko kasama nung katulong namin, hindi ko siya na-save when he jumped at nahulog sa floor.


Noon walang tigil siya sa iyak at nagkabukol pa. Gano’n ako kawalang alam nun Leah, and I was starting to question my credibility as a mom.


Hindi lang dun nagtapos ‘yon Leah kasi meron pang mas malalang nangyari. Isang araw ‘yung anak ko karga karga ko siya at walang tigil sa iyak, and he suddenly shakes … all I thought Leah he was only bitten by an ant.


Kaya ang ginawa ko I tried looking for that spot kung saan siya nakagat at the same time hinahanap ‘yung mga langgam na kumagat sa kanya.


Hanggang sa biglang dumating si mama at natatarantang kinuha sa akin ang anak ko. Pinagalitan niya ako dahil nags-seizure na pala ‘yung bata. Doon ako instant na natakot at buti na lang meron si mama at kung wala siya na dumating, my son might have died in my arms habang unaware ako sa kalagayan niya.


With my mom’s expertise sa pag-aalaga sa bata at pag-manage ng kung anong nararamdaman nila, my son soon stabled.


Noon na nga Leah, I was really starting to get frustrated dahil bakit ba kasi hindi ko magawa-gawa ng tama ‘yung role ko as isang ina. ‘Yun na nga lang ang ginagawa ko pero hindi ko pa magawa-gawa ng tama.


Do you know that feeling Leah na gustong gusto mong i-perfect ‘yung isang bagay, and you are trying and exerting everything you can give pero hindi mo pa rin mamaster-master ‘yung isang bagay na sana ay alam mo na.


But then, with my husband’s unending and undying support and patience, we were able to get through things. Yes Leah, Castro became my rock and I couldn’t thank and love him enough.

Habang tumatagal nga Leah, natututunan ko na rin kung paano ang maging isang ina and at the same time, kung paano rin maging isang mabuting maybahay.


Sooner, ipinagbuntis ko ang ikalawang anak namin ni Castro. My pregnancy with my daughter is lighter as compared to her brother na hindi ako makakain at nag-rely and nag-depend lang ako sa reseta ng doctor.


So we became a family of four and we were so happy Leah. I didn’t thinkh of having this in my teen-age years, but I would not trade it for anything in the world.


Housewife ako nun at ang ginawa ko lang ay ang alagaan ang mga anak namin while si Castro naman ay nagta-trabaho to provide for the family.


I was still learning about things but as days pass by, I was enjoying and loving every minute of it. Oo Leah, masaya maging nanay pero mas masaya ‘yung meron kang napaka-supportive, napaka-patient, napaka-caring, at napaka-loving na asawa.


‘Yung alam mong kami ‘yung priority niya. Hindi talaga siya mabarkada, perhaps this is one of the perks of marrying a guy older than you kasi matured na silang mag-isip.


Napakabait ni Castro Leah at dahil dito ‘yung ginawa nga niyang pagpasok sa akin noon sa kwarto ko ay tinatawanan na lang naming dalawa mas lalo ‘yung worry ko nun na mabubuntis na ako because he kissed me. Tapos idagdag pa natin ‘yung paghasa ng papa ko ng itak niya nung nalaman niya ang ginawa ni Castro.


Again, we were so happy Leah but then, after 5 years of our happy marriage, I was forced to get used to waking up to an empty and cold bed … and I was forced to raise my two children… alone.



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