• Leah's Real Life Stories

Beatrice' Story: CHAPTER TWO


Si ate, when she graduated from high school, isa siya sa may maraming medals. ‘Yung acads niya sakto lang pero sa extra-curricular, hakot awards talaga siya. Kitang kita ko nun kung gaano ka-proud ang mga magulang namin at talagang dalawa pa silang umakyat sa stage kahit pa okay na ‘yung isang parent lang.


My 2 kuyas and I became instant photographer nun at halos kahit saang anggulo ay hindi namin pinakawalan, ikaw ba naman ang may tatlong taga-picture diba?


‘Yung handaan din nun talagang engrande Leah at halos buong barangay ang pumunta sa bahay nun. Sa totoo lang daig niya ‘yung celebration nung valedictorian nila o salutatorian, dahil ‘yung kay ate ay para bang may kasal at napakaraming pagkain at tao.


Basta walang paglagyan ‘yung tuwa nung ng mga magulang ko at ‘yung mga parents nun they were somewhat jealous of them kasi they had a daughter like my ate na maganda, sweet, mabait, beauty queen, at magaling na gymnast.


Basta naguumapaw ‘yung praises sa kanila noon at ilang mga parents din ang nainggit sa kanila.


Well, nakaka-proud naman kasi dahil deserve na deserve din naman ni ate ‘yung mga praises, awards, and recognition kasi nga lahat naman pinaghirapan niya at talagang pinag-igihan niya. Siguro ‘yung part na maganda, that is inborn pero the rest, iniyakan niya rin ng ilang beses dahil sa mga disappointments at iba’t ibang sakit at pasa sa katawan na inabot niya.


While helping the people around to accommodate my ate’s guests, I silently watched her as she just finished another step towards her dreams. However, just when she was about to have everything, biglang may dumating na hindi inaasahan.


Si ate, maraming magagandang university ang nag-alok sa kanya ng scholarship at kung ano ano ang mga offers just to get her to represent their school in the field of gymnastics. Tuwang tuwa sina mommy at daddy nun dahil nga dagdag karangalan ito sa kanila at hinihintay na lang nila kung ano ang desisyon ni ate.


Hindi nila prinessure si ate bagkus ay binigay nila sa kanya ‘yung freedom to choose.


Pero Leah … sayang, na sayang ang lahat na gaya ng sabi nila mommy at daddy. Kasi nandiyan na lahat ng opportunities before my sister ang gagawin na lang niya is pumili at pumunta na sa college with the comfort and all waiting for her. All she just have to do is to do her thing which is to play her passion.


Bakit nasayang? Kasi one night, umuwi si ate na umiiyak. Noon ay mabilis siyang nilapitan ni mommy which is lagi niyang ginagawa lalong lalo na kapag distressed ang ate. Ang akala namin nun pagod lang siya o stress kaya siya nag-break down.


Kaya lang, the least or the one which was not even on our list that might have caused her to be at such state, ay ‘yun ‘yung reason.


Oo, Leah. While everything was already on my sister’s table, she had managed to let those once in a lifetime opportunities to slip through her fingers … kasi at 15, and that night, she came home pregnant.


Si daddy noon nanunuod ng TV along with my 2 brothers. Ako nasa kitchen at nanunuod ng gymnastic competition sa phone ko sa kitchen nang ayain nga ni mommy si ate sa dining area.


May sarili akong mundo nun at hinayaan ko lang na mag-usap sina mommy at ate sa harapan ko nang bigla akong napaangat ng tingin dahil bigla na lang napahagulgol ang kapatid ko nang tanungin siya ni mommy kung saan na naman ba daw ang masakit.


Maybe because of mother’s instinct, natigilan bigla si mommy sa mga ramblings niya sa biglaang paghagulgol ng ate ko. She just looks at her in the eyes and it seems like, mommy instantly knew.


Siguro dahil wala na siyang takas ay sunod sunod at paulit-ulit nag-sorry si ate kay mommy na noon ay natahimik ng halos mahigit isang minuto, siguro she was still trying to process or to make things about anything.


Ako naman, hindi ko alam kung ano ang nangyayari at pabalik balik na lang ang tingin ko kina mommy at ate. Hanggang sa muling nagsalita si mommy at ‘yung sumunod niyang sinabi ay talagang nakapagpagulo sa bahay.


Si daddy at ‘yung dalawang kuya namin ay mabilis pumunta sa kusina to confirm kung tama ba ‘yung narinig nila. When my ate didn’t respond at mas lalong umiyak, nanghihinang napaupo si daddy sa isang upuan at umiyak na tinanong kung saan ba sila nagkulang at nagpabuntis siya ng maaga.


Napuno ng luha ang bahay namin nun Leah. Oo, kung ano ang itinuwa ng mga magulang ko sa mga parangal na inuwi ni ate sa bahay ay siya rin namang pagguho ng kanilang mundo after knowing that my sister had to let go of the opportunities presented to her and also she had to put those dreams she was eager to attain since she was young on hold.

Popularity, scholarship, and big universities nawala kay ate. Though I had to think twice on the popularity part kasi sa totoo lang mas lalo siyang naging popular at naging usap-usap dahil sa pagbubuntis niya.


Noon ako naawa sa ate ko Leah. I never imagined I’d see the day na ‘yung society na super praise lang sa kanya ay siya mismong nangbatikos at nanghusga sa kanya. She was deeply affected na talagang hindi na siya lumabas ng bahay.


Doon ko nakita Leah how cruel the world is, one time they were congratulating you and then the next day, they were throwing stones at you and the worst thing is that, they seemed to be enjoying and they seemed delighted over the fact that you failed and all.


Awang awa ako sa ate ko and she didn’t deserve any of those. Sure she got pregnant at 15 but it didn’t make her less of a person and certainly, it didn’t give permission to the world to hurl endless judgments against her.


So Leah, as much as I could, I remained by my sister’s side dahil noon ay aloof na sina mommy at daddy sa kanya. Siguro pareho pa kasi silang nasa state of shock at naga-adjust pa rin. So ganun nga ang ginawa ko at hindi ko iniwan si ate.


Kaya lang Leah, it seems like, kung ano ‘yung mga actions ni ate ay talagang nagre-reflect sa akin dahil just like how they expected me to be as good as her, they thought I was going to be the next one who will get pregnant early.


Hindi nakikinig ang mga magulang namin sa mga chismiss at sa mga chika ng iba, kaya lang nung nabuntis si ate ay parang naging vulnerable na sila at ang dali lang nilang maapektuhan sa kung anong naririnig nila sa paligid.


At isa nga nun sa mga maraming sinasabi ng mga tao ay ‘yung baka ako naman na daw ang susunod. Dahil dito, naparanoid ang mga magulang namin at nagsimulang mas bantayan ako at bakuran.


I didn’t mind it Leah kasi nga in the first place wala naman akong tinatago kaya I just simply let them wander to my room and check my things including my phone. Noon din ay talagang nakabuntot sila sa akin at lahat ng galaw ko ay monitored.


Like I said I didn’t mind, sa totoo lang I was delighted over the fact na parang hindi na ako after thought, na at least, they made me a priority this time.


It might be irritating to some ‘yung constant na pagtanong tanong ng mga magulang mo kung kamusta ‘yung araw mo, kung sino ‘yung mga kasama mo, kung nasaan ka, and all. Pero sa akin, they are not dahil if I were to be honest, that was the time I finally felt like, ako naman … ako naman ‘yung pagtutuunan ng pansin.


Kaya ‘yun nga Leah, I just let them linger around as I try my hardest to continue what my sister had started and so I really work so hard to attain this goal and to make my parents proud.


Habang nakabantay nga ang mga magulang ko sa akin ay mas pinag-igihan ko nga ang pagsasanay with ma’am Mathilda. Ang hirap, there is really no shortcuts to success because you really have to undergo the process which is surely excruciating which sometimes is already enough to make you quit.


But then, the more na humihirap, for me mas lalo kong pinag-igihan hanggang sa nung muli akong sumabak sa regional nung 3rd year na ako ay finally, I was able to bring home that most awaited gold.


Tandang tanda ko nun ‘yung pag-cheer ng mga magulang ko sa bleachers kasabay ng pagbaba nila to meet and hug me. Noon kasi nasa college na nga ang dalawang kuya ko kaya sina mommy at daddy lang nun ang present.


After finally getting that gold Leah and after finally feeling my parents’ proud and warmest embrace just because of it? I’ve never felt so fulfilled in my life, that gold medal felt like a drug that after tasting it, I craved for it even more.


And so, mas lalo akong ginanahan na magtrain lang nang mag-train at mas pag-igihan lang. Pakiramdam ko nun wala ng makakapigil pa sa akin because this is now my time to shine and I would be damn kung hahayaan kong mawala itong opportunity na ito sa akin.


Yes Leah, finally … after long and painful wait, I was already living my dream.


‘Yung naudlot na pag-varsity player sana ni ate ay ako ang nakagawa at nakapagpatuloy kasi nga just like ate, when I graduated from high school, nagsidatingan din ang mga offer. However, unlike my ate who was given the freedom to choose, ako hindi kasi ang mga magulang ko mismo ang namili.


Pinili nila Leah ‘yung university kung saan naka-enroll din ang dalawang kuya ko kasi ‘yung university nila inofferan din ako.


Again, I was okay with it. I didn’t mind or kahit sumama man lang ang loob, hindi kasi all I just wanted to do before was to be a good gymnastic player and nothing more.


And so, when I got into college, I continued living my dream, of course and still being continuously monitored by my parents through my brothers whom I was sharing apartment with.


Siya nga pala Leah, I never had a boyfriend and I didn’t plan on having one any time sooner kasi nga ito na ‘yon eh, ito na ‘yung pinakagusto kong gawin and I also don’t want to give the society the satisfaction na magiging parang si ate lang ako. Kaya naman kahit may mga nagpaparamdam noon ay hindi ko talaga pinansin at kung aakalain niyong malaking tulong ‘yung dalawang kuya ko para hindi na ako kulitin ay hindi kayo nagkakamali.


Though, Leah, sabi nila you can never tell when the man who could sweep you off your feet arrive kasi kung saan ko mismo ginugol ‘yung oras at energy ko, doon ko pa siya mismo na-meet. At Leah, hindi sa college ko siya unang nakita bagkus ay nakikita ko na siya noon. Do you remember the guy who is always there to cheer my competitor from other school in high school? Siya Leah… si Alvin, ang lalaking ni hindi ko inaasahang makakapasok sa puso at isipan ko.


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